ARGH! I hate my parents! I wish they can be OUT of my life for a year! That would be great and awesome!

My right shoulder is aching and my whole neck is aching too. I think I tire my neck area too much. I am doing nothing and yet I can still feel pain. Damn, why must I get this kind of thing now?!

My brain is bloody complex and messed up. My heart is trying her best to help me get through this crisis but she's confused too. Confused with feelings. My emotions are mixed up and I don't exactly know what I am feeling right now or what I should be feeling right now after so many things happened. 

From not being able to play well for competition, to not being able to train properly, to not doing well for tests, to not understanding what some teachers are teaching, to putting a friendship to test, to have to talk to him and last but not least, to have to solve all of these problems!

Mixed feelings 

I should be feeling happy because... I can't think of any reason. 

I should be feeling sad because my life is in a mess and no one can help me out.

I should be feeling like a loser because I should not have lost that SC's match. 

(He touched on this and well, what he said was quite true...)

I should be feeling excited because my self awareness camp is in 2 weeks time! 

(Still have competition, excited for what... ): )

I should have negative feelings because of everything that's been happening in my life right now...